Nobody knows for sure if it is the Internet, the pop music (and corresponding video clips) or some other influence. Fact of the matter is that more and more people find their way into alternative lifestyles. As a result, large numbers of people try to “date kinky”. And that may be a little more difficult than many people expect it to be.
Outsiders especially often have problems finding their way into alternative lifestyle communities and even more trouble finding a partner.
Here are the five most important “do” and “do not” issues:
Do not buy a pair of leather pants and start patrolling the neighborhood hoping someone will pick up your “signal”. That will not work and you can work around until the cows come home. Sure enough the kinky people will notice what you are trying to do. They will however also have a good laugh about your actions as soon as you are out of sight. Do actively engage in conversation! If you fancy someone and fancy a spanking, simply say so – albeit not in your pick up line. These days most people will not shy away from kinky subjects. In fact, you will probably grab their attention.
Do not be overly optimistic about the results of your kinky Internet dating plans. Kinky Internet dating works sometimes, but most of the time it does not and you will end up with no date at all or a major disappointment. Do inform yourself about meeting spots in your area. Swingers clubs, BDSM groups and quite often concerts are excellent meeting (and dating) opportunities. You will find them in Yahoo groups or with a bit of creative Internet searching.
Do not try and play the “I have seen it all before” type if you have not. Kinky communities are small and they form an in crowd. They will spot your facade from Miles away. Do be honest. If “going kinky” is new to you and you are somewhat uncertain and shy about it. That is perfectly okay and people will applaud your honesty about it.
Do not start out with buying lots of high end sex toys such as luxury vibrators from sex toys online store. That is much like buying a car stereo and a set of snow tires without owning a car. Do invest in finding a partner, mate or play buddy. There will be time enough to go out and buy the luxury sex toys, cuffs, whips and other stuff. Doing that together is much more fun anyway.
Do not assume people are into anything and everything just because they are kinky. Someone into spanking wants to spank or be spanked. Actual intercourse for example is usually not a part of that process, regardless what you may see on pornographic movies and pictures. Do ask! More experienced people especially will be more than happy to talk about – and explain – the dos and do nots of their kink. Eventually that makes things more fun.